Friday, December 18, 2009

That Worry Thing

My last post, on Monday, was all about how I wasn't going to worry.  I was just going to celebrate each day that we were pregnant.  That lasted until about Tuesday before the worries started creeping in.  And, then Thursday I had a little spotting.  Not much.  Not enough to need a panty liner.  But, enough to scare the crap out of me.  I'm feeling more AF-ish type cramping than the previous days, too.

I know that many woman spot in early pregnancy.  I also know this is how miscarriages start.  Maybe I've read one too many blog posts or spent too much time on iV.  I don't know.  How many women who have spotting at 4 weeks, 3 days really make it to a healthy baby in the end?  Thinking positive just doesn't seem possible anymore.  I feel like we're losing Beaker...and I just can't process it. 

I haven't called the clinic.  Three dots of redness seems like a bit too little to call in a panic.  But, more than that, I also know that there's nothing they can do.  They'll either tell me to wait it out.  Or, they'll have me come in for more betas.  And, I'm not sure I want the results.  I don't want to take that call.

At the same time, I know that I'm supposed to be leaving for Missouri on Monday night to go be with BFF and her new baby (born Monday via c-section).  If this is headed in the direction it feels like it is, I can't bear to go through that there, without Hubby.  At least, if I got the bad beta results, I'd know to stay home.

I hope I'm overreacting.  I hope that this is all a part of the process and the spotting was perfectly explainable and the AF-ish cramps are a normal thing to feel at this point.  I feel less pregnant than I did yesterday.  Things don't seem to be moving in the right direction.  Not sure what to do or how to feel.  I'm just in a daze.

11 comments:

Banana Pancakes said...

Oh sister I know just how you feel. The first trimester is SCARY, spotting or not, our little ones are so vulnerable and there is nothing we can do to protect them. I had quite a bit of what felt like AF cramping all the way up until about 8 or 9 weeks, so that is completely normal. The spotting might even be a tiny bit of left over implantation bleeding or just some cervical stuff making its way out. Hang in there mama, I will pray for you & beaker :)

Michelle said...

I'm thinking about you and hoping it is just an If'er over-reaction. I'm sure I would do the same. Maybe you can do the beta? I know it would suck to hear bad news.. but wouldn't it be awesome to hear everything is fine?
Your in my thoughts today.

Leah said...

I'm really sorry and am thinking about you. It is so natural to worry. You are right though. . . both of those symptoms are normal in early pregnancy. Thinking of you.

Marla.z said...

My only advice is to take the advice of others that have been in your shoes. I don't blame you for being a bag of nerves, but this could mean nothing - just some typical early pregnancy symptoms. =)

Jendeis said...

I'm sorry. Hoping that this is nothing.

Melissa said...

Understandable about the worrying. I think it comes with being a Mom huh? But that being said, I think you need to relax & think positive. I'm trying to do the same...and must admit, I'm pretty much putting this pregnancy on the back burner until our 1st U/S. Bad I know...but it's helping me cope.

Hang in there and I'll be thinking of you.

Lauren said...

AF-like cramps and spotting are both normal things to experience at this point. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop them from being alarming, especially to someone who's gone through IF.

I'm hoping and praying that it's nothing.

kmina said...

Hey, I just went through the same thing!
More or less, but still...
Last week my doc got sick and couldn't go see her. Then on Sunday I started spotting. Went on Wed and saw a beautiful beating heart! I am 6w4d now. The spotting was a hematoma, still is actually.
I have absolutely no usual symptom, and I am freaked out.
Talk to your doctor nevertheless. You will be told that it could mean nothing, it could mean something is wrong. But at least you talk to someone who should know how to help you.
I am on progesterone from the very beginning (i.e. two weeks, but in my time, that is two and a half eternities), I had a m/c in May, so my doc thought it would be better, it surely doesn't hurt.
I say give'em a call, what can you lose?! Nothing.
Best of luck to you! I am adding you to the list of people I am keeping my fingers crossed. :-) I do hope those three dots are nothing at all. Keep us posted.

kmina said...

Oh, and I forgot, yeah, the cramps started by the end of week 4. And they're getting noticeable. Apparently it is the uterus stretching to accommodate the embryo. Anyway, this is my only sign that something is going on. I know I should ease up, but I can't, really.

Jen said...

Ugh, I would be worried too, but I have read about so many women who spotted and were fine. Thinking of you, and hang in there!

Illanare said...

Of course you are worried, anyone would be. I think you should call your doctor, just for reassurance.

Thinking of you.

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...