I was a ridiculous bundle of nerves all day. I tried to sleep most of our four hour car ride home, but the butterflies that had invaded my tummy made that a near impossibility. By the time we made it to the clinic, my hands were shaking. I felt like I was either going to be sick or hyperventilate as I changed and assumed the position. (As it turned out, that "going to be sick" feeling has been with me the whole day, so I have a feeling it's a bit more related to "morning" sickness than nerves!)
Once the RE joined us in the u/s room, it was right down to business. In hardly no time at all, we saw my uterus. Shortly thereafter we saw the yolk sac. For a second, all the awful thoughts raced through my head again. But, a few clicks and a zoom or two later, and I heard the RE say that there was a healthy heartbeat there. She asked if we could see it, but it took me a few seconds to both comprehend what she was saying and find a gap in between thre stream of tears!
Beaker's little heartbeat was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. At 6wks1day it was 114 beats per minute. The RE says that's a great number for our timeline! We saw both the black and gray flicker and the blood flow "map" of red and blue colors. Just beautiful! We're in total awe of the little life growing inside me. It feels simultaneously all the more real and surreal!
Our next appointment with the RE is in two weeks (at 8wks) and then we'll get released to my OB. We had the option of going straight to the OB, but I had a feeling that we'd miss a chance to see Beaker if we did, so we opted to do the one last appointment with the RE before moving on.
I know that we're by no means out of the woods yet. That point was made all too painfully today when one of my online friends went in for her 8 week ultrasound after seeing a healthy heartbeat at 6 weeks only to find that the baby had stopped growing. High risk factors or not, it doesn't change the sadness or the sense of caution. And yet, I have such a sense of relief that we've past this first huge hurdle. Beaker has a strong, healthy heartbeat. One day at a time...but, for today, all is well and beautiful in our world!
644th Friday Blog Roundup
1 day ago