Remember how last week I found out that my position was being realigned? Well, my department was hiring a manager for that new team I will be on. And, the job was only posted internal to my department. The manager job is so "me." It's everything I've been aspiring to...a very exciting opportunity. A few minor details, however. 1) The VP had already started giving many of the parts of the new job to another manager in the department (while still preaching that everyone has an equal shot). 2) Privately, I can't help but wonder if it's not really six months to a year to early for me, experience-wise, anyway.
So, I had decided that I was not going to apply. I would just be a happy player on New Manager's bench until the next great opportunity came along, but then I would be ready. Easy enough. Made great sense. And then, yet another person (about the fourth) asked me if I was going to apply. And, my director said that they had made a special exception on the 1-year at the company rule so that I could apply. Then, my family really started encouraging me to apply. All the while, I knew the score. I was applying for a losing battle. Nonetheless, I was
And, every day since I applied and the position closed on Monday has been more and more reminders of why I have no chance. The VP has continued to give her new tasks that our on the New Manager's list of tasks. How can I possibly compete with someone who is already doing the job? And, why on earth do the act like everyone has a fair shot at it when clearly we/I don't? I feel like the employee relations fall girl...the "check the box," we had two people apply so that it didn't just look like we were giving the to a specific person. Oh, and the best part is that part of New Manager's role is to be the spokesperson for the department. The other candidate, the one they've all but promised it to, is the most negative, close-minded, cynical person in the whole department. Perfect for a spokeswoman, don't you think?
So, I'm busy working away on a strategic plan for the new department, that I won't be leading, for the interview tomorrow. I'll likely still be working on that tonight before the interview tomorrow. Two months ago, a friend and I bought tickets to see Twilight tonight. Looks like no more Twilight for me...
And, to top it all off...the cherry on top of this ridiculously awful week? BFF posted this to FB today:
Shout out to all the new mommies around me! Dianne, Bryn, Katie and Jennie! And those to come! Michelle, Leann, Josie and Sasha! Looking forward to some great memories :-)
Maybe it's just the incredibly foul mood I'm in (think the fact that I'm on CD4 might have something to do with that), but that post strikes me as ridiculous. Or maybe it's just that I can't relate to what it must be like to be pregnant and surrounded by wonderfully happy pregnant and/or new moms.
Is this week over yet? I think I'm about to start waving the white flag on this week...