Part of my pre-op bloodwork on Thursday was an HCG because I was on CD25 and 10DPO. Right before the hysteroscopy last Friday, the nurse made a point to say that my HCG had come back negative. I just laughed. It wasn't a surprise. Still, it sucks to know that already, as I sit around waiting for AF to come in the next few days with no hope of a BFP. This is exactly why I don't early test.
Even though the 2WW can drive me crazy, it's also still the most hopeful part of every cycle for me. Despite the odds, for two weeks out of every month, I could be pregnant. I don't early test because seeing AF for the 209th time in my life is a lot easier than seeing the stark white HPT staring back at me. I've gotten used to AF's arrival month after month for 17 years (granted, for 16 of those I didn't much mind). I don't ever want to get used to seeing bright white HPTs. I'd rather just wait...and hope against the odds.
This cycle, though, there's no more hoping...only waiting.
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