Monday, November 30, 2009

Beyond

Thanksgiving Day began like any other, with a flurry of cooking and conversation.  Around noon, we found a break in the action between the turkey baking and the sweet potato marshmallows browning to exchange gifts since we wouldn't see Hubby's family over Christmas.  It was here that things took a turn toward all things "beyond."

Hubby and I had chosen smaller-than-usual, but meaningful gifts for each of them.  I've been known to go a bit overboard with Christmas gifts in the past, but I'm determined to stick to the budget this year as we prepare for whatever next year brings us.  Luckily, both families understand.  And, of course, sometimes the thought that went into the gift makes the difference anyway.  Other times, both the thought, and the gift itself, blow you away.  That was how we felt when we opened the ILs gift to us...a check that will cover a good chunk of the differential where my and our HRA leave off.  We were beyond grateful.

A little while after the gift exchange, our dear friends and their three-year-old daughter, E, joined us for Thanksgiving dinner. They are very much like family to us, and proving to be even more so all the time! So much so, that we've wholeheartedly and humbly agreed to raise E as our own if something were ever to happen to them. They are wonderful, genuine and generous.  They also have been down the IF road before and just "get it."  Sometimes, often actually, we don't even have to say what we're feeling for them to understand.  In fact, it almost feels more like a brother (to Hubby) and SIL relationship than "just" friends.  "Friends" just isn't descriptive enough.  They have always and continue to go beyond that.

As is usual when they come to visit, Hubby and A stepped out to the patio to smoke a cigar (or two).  During that conversation, A asked how things were going on the fertility front.  Hubby gave him the update that we're heading towards IUI or IVF early next year and that all signs point to IVF.  He said that we were just trying to get a few more of our "financial ducks in a row" before we moved on to IVF. 

It was next statement that left us beyond words for the second time that day.  They offered to loan us the difference where the insurance and HRA left off.  There was no sales pitch, no "ask" from us.  It was entirely unsolicited.  It's one thing to ask parents, another altogether to ask friends.  Likewise, that minor detail makes the offer that much more amazing and humbling.  I'm still shocked, amazed, humbled, just truly beyond words at the generosity of our friends and family.  If their offer never comes to fruition...if it turns out to be too good to be true, or if we turn out not even to need and/or take it, that's okay.  In this case, the offer speaks volumes and that generosity will never be forgotten. 

By Thanksgiving night, we were once again heading towards the IVF clinical trial, that we had previously written off for not being financially feasible quite yet, and hopeful that this time next year there might be another little somebody at the Thanksgiving table, albeit in utero.  It is for the shared hope that the gifts represent, more than the gifts themselves, that I remain beyond thankful....thankful for the hope, the friends, the family, the blessing, and beyond.

9 comments:

Noelle said...

Wow...What absolutely wonderful friends and family. I bet that you feel so loved and cared for.

You truly are blessed!

Baby Wanted said...

Oh wow, you are so blessed with wonderful family and friends who obviousely want to see you two become parents. I'm sure they left you feeling extra thankful this Thanksgiving! I'm so happy for you!

Emmy said...

That really is a great Thanksgiving. You are so lucky to have all that support! I'm happy for you!

Illanare said...

Wow - wonderful family and friends! But, although I don't know you, what I read in your blog makes me think that you are a pretty amazing person yourself, so your friends are bound to be amazing too.

lowfatlady said...

I'm glad you had such a good thanksgiving. That is so nice of them to offer that. I'm glad that you have such good support ;)

Suzy said...

WOW, that's awesome! We have friends who are also more like family. So glad you've got such good support for the year ahead of you!

Priscilla said...

Wonderful!! So happy for you!!

Marla.z said...

Wow! That's awesome, Lin! And like you said, even if you never end up needing their loan, it's so thoughtful that they offered it in the first place. Amazing friends!

Hillary said...

I got teary eyed reading this! You have some amazing friends and I am so thankful you have them :)

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