Just the beginning...

Depending on when you start counting, we're either 8 months or 5 months into our TTC journey. It was 8 months ago that we decided that we were both ready. There was one "minor" detail that had to happen first...my exploratory laparoscopy. That happened in March. No endo=GREAT! Adhesion removed=GREAT! I had to wait until after my surgery to go off the pill, on doctors orders...So, April was when we really could get the TTC show started.

Knowing that there were fertility issues on both sides of the family, we sat some milestones from the beginning. The first one was the lap before we got started. The second, was a four month SA. I've always had the feeling that this wouldn't be easy...every month just made that nagging voice louder. Four months came and went....and hear we are.

I got the call I never wanted, but was somehow not surprising. It went something like..."low count, low volume, low motility, 100% abnormal morphology. Call the specialist as soon as you get off the call with me (my nurse) because your chances are extremely slim without help." My heart sank and I felt some where in between tears and throwin up...

But, I held it together for Andy. We shared a tearful embrace, each trying to be strong for the other. And, then we reminded each other that this wasn't a huge surprise and that we would work through it--together--just like so many things before this.

I started researching the problem. Andy decided to wait until the appointment with the specialist to decide just how much to worry. That's fine, we're two very different people with very different, but extremely compatible personalities. I suppose you could say that we're the epitamy of "opposites attract." I take comfort in talking abou the same thing, even if there's no resolution yet....turning to others who are dealing with the same thing...writing about my feelings...and researching. Andy prefers to take it one step at a time and not worry too much until he's given reason to worry. I hope that our 8/25 appointment with the urologist does NOT give him a reason to worry!

Either way, it is becoming more and more clear that despite the fact that we're on month 5 or 8 (depending on who you ask), we're really only just beginning. And, it's that fact that I'm struggling with this week...