Monday, August 10, 2009

Finding peace on the journey...

Yah, cheesy title, maybe. But, that's a pretty good summary of how I'm feeling these days-- at peace, for the most part. As strange as it sounds given the news, I feel like we're exactly where we are meant to be. The SA results were not really a surprise to either of us. For reasons I can't explain, I've always felt like this process would not be "easy" for us. As it turns out, Andy felt similarly, but never let on until now.

After my rather emotional processing of the new information (SA results) last weekend, I realized that there are so many options that I have no doubt whether or not we'll have kids. The only question is when and how. And, it's the when that causes me particular angst. I'm not necessarily sure that I'm mentally/emotionally prepared to be in this for the long haul, but I will learn (not that I have much choice in the matter! LOL!).

But, other than that last, albeit rather big, hang-up, I (and we) have found some peace with where we are on this journey. I think that's partly because it just feels right. I'm still struggling to figure out how something so crappy can feel so right for us, but it does somehow. We are committed to having a family and to learning what we're meant to learn on this journey. It will likely not always make sense and it will likely be frought with more bad news before the good news. But, we'll get through it, just like we always have, and be closer, communicate better, and cherish each other and our future children more, because of it. Of that much I am certain...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...