In Its Own Divine Time

Three things for this post...all which will happen "in their own divine time," as Hubby reminded me yesterday.

Issue number one...Hubby and I talked a bit about yesterday's issue. I sincerely thank each of you that offered your thoughts and thought processes. We left things in the "think on it" category. Exactly where I expected them to be, and exactly where they should be for where we are in the process. I should also add that after our conversation tonight we're leaning a bit more toward a few IUIs and then perhaps the next IVF clinical trial sometime after first quarter 2010. But, when the RE shares with us the percentages of successful IUI, I may change my mind on this...again. In time all of that will be clear, I trust,

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Issue number two...I'm fuming about the fact that we're still waiting on the morphology results from last Saturday's SA. Perhaps we've just been spoiled by the uro who could get us results, all of them-- including morphology, in an hour or two. But, seven days later seems more than excessive...and unacceptable. We've called a few times; they just haven't gotten to it yet. I guess it comes down to this: If they're going to take seven days to tell us it's another 0% normal, I will be even more PO'd. However, if the results are better, they can take all the time they need to count the little guys.

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Finally, issue number three...This is the one that Hubby actually said "all its own divine time."  Ironically, it has absolutely nothing to do with TTC.  Though he didn't say it, I do think he thought it was a message that wouldn't hurt to be applied to more than just one aspect of our current lives.  It's a message I can often stand to be reminded of.  Patience is not my forte.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand...On Thursday, my manager was called into a meeting with our director, the two other directors from our department and the VP to discuss "changes, all good changes, coming to the department."  I just had a hunch this was going to have something to do with me.  Sure enough, on Friday I came into work to find a meeting request for Monday with the same group (manager, three directors and the VP) to discuss "exciting updates" coming our way. 

My department is sort of in the midst of a reorganization and I've been openly pulling for cross utilization of my role since the beginning.  I suspect this meeting has something to do with that.  It's almost certainly a positive thing for me.  I'm expecting anything from a promotion to a title increase to a job diversification without promotion or title increase.  Any of them would be a step in the right direction (though I'd prefer either of the former to the latter).  My biggest concern, though, is it may include a change in managers, which is something I'll be pretty disappointed about.  My manager and I have a great working relationship; I don't want to give that up just yet.

So, just to prove to you all what a worrier I am...here I sit on Saturday morning worried about undoubtedly good news I'm (hopefully) going to receive around lunch time on Monday.  Such a silly girl!  This is about the time Hubby said that whatever the change is, it will be positive, and though my path may not be the one I expected, it will all happen "in its own divine time."  Since we did he get to be so philosophical, you ask?  It was something his grandma used to remind him.  Wise hubby; Wise grandma!

Friday Frustrations

I wish I could say that I was feeling great headed into the weekend. Unfortunately, I'm feeling frustrated. A lot of things are adding up to create that feeling. And, even though there's a great deal of hopeful, "almost there" sort of things going on right now, I can't seem to get past my general feeling of annoyed frustration on this dreary, rainy Friday.

House
We were supposed to be the proud owners of only one house, officially, as of today. Instead, we have two houses for one more week. The closing on our MN house got moved to next Wednesday. Not the end of the world. It's still on the calendar and it's a bank issue, not a buyer issue. Still, it's annoying. After 17 months on the market, though, what's one more week?

RE
I posted earlier this week about my call to schedule the initial consult at the RE. I talked with the new patient coordinator on Wednesday afternoon and got an appointment set-up for the morning of 10/26. Awesome! We wouldn't have to wait too long to get a plan. Unfortunately, I woke up in a startle on Thursday morning when I realized that somehow I'd failed to realize that I had an all day meeting at work on 10/26 and would probably need to reschedule. I immediately called the coordinator yesterday morning...still haven't heard back. I imagine she's off and I'll here from her on Monday. I was making every effort to schedule the appointment for first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening to appease my office. But, I have sense decided that I'll be much better able to participate in my boss's baby shower on November 5 if we have a plan by then. Maybe that's silly, but I think it will help I'm annoyed at myself for scheduling it on the 26th in the place and growing increasingy annoyed that I haven't heard back (not at the coordinator, just in general that I can't get it confirmed on our calendars).

Depression and TTC
And then there's the big one. DH and I had the talk last night. He's right in the middle of a lot of non-TTC-related medical issues that investigating the MFI sort of dug up. He's dealing with severe fatigue...to the point of not being able to successfully complete once normal, daily tasks. Now that his hormone levels are back to normal (testosterone and estradiol are in normal ranges per the blood work we received from the uro this week!), his thyroid panel came back clear and his CPAP (for sleep apnea) has been cleared as working normally, we're beginning to wonder if it has something to do with his depression meds. The very thing we were hoping to avoid messing with now needs to be messed with. So, we had the talk...should we hold off on "advanced-TTC" until he's feeling better or continue to pursue getting him "back to normal" at the same time as we move forward with the RE. We decided to move ahead, but reevaluate before we start any treatments. A perfectly sensible resolution...but, I'm finding myself annoyed at the conversation in the first place. The depression, making it's presence known in yet another way, annoys me to know end. I digress and will save it for the next post.

To end on a lighter note...my mom is flying in this weekend. We're going to the Texas State Fair. I'll report soon on fair oddities (er, delicacies?) like fried butter and fried peaches and cream. Maybe tomorrow's feeling of "painfully stuffed" will outweigh (no pun intended) today's annoyance.

Wacky Wednesday Hodge Podge

Some thoughts...

Thanks for the comments about yesterday's post. I agree with you on taking care of the hormonal issues first. That makes the best sense. I've just seen so much mixed info on the varicocele repair, that I'm not putting much stock in that. And I'm grateful that the doc isn't pushing it too heavily (yet). I'll definitely be picking up Dr. Silber's book "How to Get Pregnant" this weekend(thanks Murgdan for the recommendation!)!

Clinical trial update...
I called about the clinical trial just to get the information. I feel better knowing what all of our options are! The current clinical trial doesn't work for us. However, they have a new one beginning in January that will likely offer a much better discount. No word on inclusion/exclusion criteria yet, though. Will be keeping fingers crossed that, if we still need this option, we qualify in January! That timing works out great for us anyway. Long enough to get some of hubby's issues worked out (hopefully) and a few more months to save.

Crafty circle update...

Still looking for one more participant in the crafty circle/craft-o-rama! Check it out here...

(Thanks for the awesome pic Suzy!! Check out her awesome blog Not a Fertile Myrtle!)

Wacky Wednesday Hodge Podge

A little bit of lots of unrelated stuff today, hence the title!  The ALI Blogroll, a fun online find, an annoying lunch yesterday, a crazy workout and nothing much else new here...

The ALI Blogroll (otherwise known as The Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer)
As of this week, I've officially been added to the ALI Blogroll!  Given all of the support we've received recently from our online friends (honestly, probably more so than from our real life friends!), I'm so excited to be able to (maybe, hopefully) give some of that back in return by being easier to find (for starters, anyway)!

Fun Online Find
Every once in awhile I dabble in photoediting, creating online signatures, etc.  I'd love to have one of the more advanced versions of Photoshop (the one on my computer is archaic), but they're so crazy expensive!  A few months ago, I was playing around with Gimp.  It's a pretty cool open source (read: FREE) photo editing software package that definitely rivals Photoshop.  I had two problems with it, though.  First of all, it's insanely large and tended to crash my computer.  Second, so much in the way of online tutorials is written for Photoshop that it was a bit frustrating. 

Today, I came across a new fun find in a genre that I didn't even know existed before today.  Turns out there is now pretty substantial online photo editing "software."  I'm not talking the "lite" versions like in photobucket or flickr.  There are online versions complete with layers and effects capability.  I haven't had much time to play around with it, but it looks very cool.  Here's Aviary! 

And, just for laughs...Aviary Launches Crane.  Hope that made someone else laugh, too.  I know I got a good giggle out of it! :-)

Lunch Yesterday
So, I had a lunch yesterday with my department (which includes my 5 months, first try preggo boss).  I just had a funny feeling there'd be preggo talk, but I was pleasantly surprised when we'd made it halfway through lunch without any.  That came to an abrupt end when women started filing in for a baby shower in the next room.  Someone at our table said, "That'll be you in a few months!" to my boss.  Next thing I knew, the entire conversation revolved around maternity clothes, registeries, showers, doctor's appointments, etc. 

I really just wanted to crawl under the table.  I'm reminded that I feel like I'm on a bit of tightrope right now...the littlest thing pushes me into the net and it takes me awhile to recover.  It's unnerving and incredibly uncomfortable...and I'm all too aware that it sounds eerily similar to hubby's depression.  On days like yesterday, I tend to reconsider my OB/GYN's low dose Xanax offer...

Other Random Stuff...
Yesterday's workout...Jillian Michael's isn't messing around and I'm sore today!!
30 Day Shred
This is cool, albeit insanely expensive!  It's BBT on steroids and even comes in many pretty colors to choose from, too! ;-)
DuoFertility
Wow!  I really appreciated this view on medicated IUIs and the fact that insurance companies have doctor's hands tied regarding moving straight to IVF where appropriate.
It's NOT Cheaper by the Dozen
This reminds me to be sure to ask the urologist next week whether they're using Kreuger or WHO criteria for the SA.  It also gives me a tiny bit of hope...
Thousands Wrongly Branded "Infertile"
I'm happy to see research being done on MFI issues.  This is both a WOW and a WOAH article, though.
Scientist Create Human Sperm from Stem Cells