Little Man H!

I've missed blogging and I've missed all of you!  For some reason, I really just needed to take a break near the end of my pregnancy, but I never really planned on disappearing completely.  I needed a break, but I didn't know why.  Now, I do.  For awhile there, blogging made me feel somehow ungrateful and guilty.  I didn't how to straddle the line between fertile and infertile.  Blogging here, in particular, made me feel guilty...but, feeling guilty made me feel ungrateful for our miracle.  It's not that straightforward, though.  I know that now.  Reading blogs of people who had come out on the other side gave me so much hope during those darker days.  Maybe our story will do the same.

I always planned on coming back once he was born.  The latter end of our pregnancy had some unexpected complications, though...H came about a month early and I was unable to use the computer for a week or so before he was born and about a month after due to issues with my own vision.  I spent so much time worrying about him that I never really stopped to worry about myself.  In the end, he was perfect and I had the lingering issue....

So anyway, I've been waiting all this time to post, because I wanted to wait until I had his birthstory written...but, I'm still working on it.  In fact, I have writer's block.  It was such a time of emotional extremes...sheer joy at his birth and sheer terror at the thought (and reality) of not being able to see him.  It's been difficult to relive it in order to write it down, but I feel that I need to do it so that I can truly process it all.

H is FABULOUS!  He's an absolute dream baby!  Honestly, I can't imagine a more perfect, adorable baby boy and I already can't imagine what we did before he was here.  Our life and family just feel complete now...perfectly how it's supposed to be!

So, here are a few pics of his first fabulous, amazing, wonderful (I could keep going, but I digress...) three months with us.  I hope we're back now...I plan to be back.  I feel the need/urge to blog again now that our life is settling into its new normal.  I go back to work in about a week and I'm sort of terrified.  Real life is already much more complicated than my wonderful three months in a bubble with LMH were!  *sigh*

So, we're back!  I'm not sure what the blog will look like now, but Little Man H and I will be here for sure!  And, come on...how can you resist THAT face?